If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
