Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Randomize
