Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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