I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
