i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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