you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
