Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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