she looked like the before picture.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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