ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
