There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
