you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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