Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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