you would pick up someone in the library
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
