im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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