yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
