i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
