She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
