At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
