8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
