I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
