everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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