You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
