just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
