I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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