im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
