YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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