you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
