i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
