OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Randomize
