Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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