I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
