Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
