My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
