why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
