It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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