Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
