i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Please don't give away my fajitas
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
