of course. lets lasso hookers.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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