its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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