I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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