Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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