How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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