Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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