and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I want a musical about memes.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
