I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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