Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
