my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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