she was so not down for the gang bang
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
