i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
