i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
